It came to me like an epiphany.
Or maybe it may have been a long time coming.
I feel terribly tired, as if all these stimulating things have left me cold and dry, and very much spent.
I even took a longer time waiting to get ready for work…I have so many things going on around me, none of them I enjoy very much. I feel as if my brain is simply tired, and I feel no enjoyment whatsoever. In other days, I would call this burnout, and I would just go and do something else. However, though, I generally feel ill at ease everywhere. Home is not a nice place, as I feel crowded in it… the office is not a nice place, as I feel too bored and stifled in it.
I may have always been different…in a place with inactivity and dissatisfying conditions, I’d feel like I was dying. Dying inside, my spirit would be very heavy. I feel like I was always wondering about something, wondering about my place out there.
Maybe I’m going to die of despair. Maybe I won’t. I do have to be strong though. A lot of people depend on me and what I can do.
But I am tired. I feel uninspired.